On the easel....in the studio

My painting time is still rather effected by ongoing, but improving neck and shoulder issues. Still at two physical therapy appointments a week, so painting hours are still cut back to 15 to 20 or so hours a week. Twenty is a good productive painting week if it happens. Even as I sit here in front of the computer I can feel my neck begin to burn..fun times.

This afternoon there was a short stretch when I became unaware of my physical issue and realized that I had six paint brushes in my right hand and two in my left. This is a great sign of the rhythm of "being in" a painting. A nice change from squirming and adjusting to relieve the pain.

I have about twelve to thirteen paintings lined up for the next New Mythology show in November. About half are done and another half are either started with paint or in my mind. I have sold several of the series' paintings, so I have work to do, but I don't need to really start wrapping up actual painting until August or so. Let's see what sort of magic happens until then...the state of the studio today is a fantastic mess with paintings in various stages of completion.





"Newton" on the easel...coming along beautifully....


...and Reuben, my giant snoring dog....who is totally worthless, apparently.

Art and Depression

Some people have tried to discourage me from being so transparent on my art blog, but I place a very high premium on authenticity. I feel we can make a deeper connection with others by being honest about our common struggles. My goal with the blog is not just to show off my art, but to process my life as an artist, as well.

I am experiencing a weird intense apathy coupled with feeling pretty depressed currently. Depression is like an old friend in my life and though her visits are less frequent as I get older, she still shows up and at times with a large suitcase.
I tend to over think things talking myself into a corner and wonder sometimes is I can afford to be a artist. Do I have the fortitude to do it for life and the drive to keep on? Is my work really valid? Sometimes, especially in dark moments, I think not. I hear artists say all the time that they love their craft and would do it all day every day if possible. I can't say the same. Painting can wear me out at times! Claude Monet said, "I am very depressed and deeply disgusted with painting. It is really a continual torture." I get that.

And trying to make a living at it can really be difficult unless you are bent that way, and though I feel I have come a long way on this, I still loathe it at times and wonder if anything will come of it. Honestly, on a rare occasion I wish I could go work a normal 9 to 5, have someone tell me what to do and get a weekly paycheck. See? I am in a weird place.

On the Easel: Phobetor

It is really difficult to photograph these dark paintings in various stages. I am afraid to take it out to shoot because it freaks out my neighbors. The paintings, I mean. Not for everyone, I get it, people.

But I am really excited about where this is going and you can get the general gist from a less than optimal image. Looking for moths now, that will be emerging from the cocoons.....is it synergy, or something more sinister?