On the Easel

Usually, in my paintings you won't see any ground. I prefer the sense of ambiguity that is created without placement and the largeness and heaviness of feel the use of sky alone alludes to. I am unsure about the "ground" but it works. I just have to figure out the imaginary lighting. I like the weird feel of the sky. What seems funny to me now is that the tamarin does not look like a real animal. He looks like something out of children's illustration. Yet, the reference photo I am using looks like this. Overall, it is evolving into something special. My light is gone, so time to step away from it.

Questions

These questions are for everyone. Not just those who are artists. I think these are important questions we all should ask ourselves.

From a personal level, what is the ultimate goal of your work? Or why do you do whay you do?

What is the one thing that holds you back? What is that proverbial thorn in your side?

When you are stuck what do you do to "start again" or move toward your work again?

Back on the Easel

This painting has been hanging around my studio for a long time. I have almost painted over it on numerous occasions when I was in immediate need of a canvas, but every time I look at it, I see something worthy of completion and I can't bring myself to let the image go. I sketched over it a bit today....I never liked the back on the body just sitting there....so, I thought about water....or snow....or a field of tall somethings the tamarin is immersed in. I think he looks afraid...or somehow hopeful and expectant. Maybe that look, an expectancy to be completed, stays my hand. So, the more I look at it, the more I see. Again, often the paintings tell me what they want to say or be.

Looks like Oprah's back

I looked off the balcony just now to see what the noise was and noticed the O show obviously has started taping the new season. These are all the happy audience members grabbing cabs after the show.
You can see by the price on the parking lot sign across the street why many take cabs. The price changes from $15 as a normal rate to $30 during the show. BTW, this lot is not owned by Harpo.

I am playing with a new iphone app- Toy Camera that Judy Wise posted about on her blog. Thanks Judy! The app has a fun setting that changes filters with each photo so it is always a surprise to see what the photo will look like.

I love the way this photo with Harpo studios in the foreground looks like it could have been taken anytime in the last 30+ years with its yellowed vintage look.

Last I want to say how sad I am to hear of Ted Kennedy's death today, an amazing politician. It seems so rare these days that we can say that. In honor of his life I hope we can get a universal health care plan passed that will provide everyone in this country with access to health insurance.

This issue is very important to me having lost a dear friend to ovarian cancer several years ago, who did not have health insurance. Health insurance may not have saved her life, but it is possible that the cancer could have been caught earlier if she had insurance to pay for wellness check ups and she would not have had to go through hell dealing with bill collectors while she was trying so hard just to stay alive.

So timely, Chris Matthews from MSNBC has a special on the Kennedy Brothers legacy that should be really interesting, tomorrow night (thurdsay) at 7pm.

On the Easel: The Landlord

A working title..... Yes, that is a hole in his forehead.

On the Easel...In progress

"Unikoi".....you get the picture...still some way to go on this one.

Fascinated for a lifetime with the myth of unicorns, their unfortunate watering down from a many-faceted animal to a cartoon horse with a spiral horn saddens me. In the world I have created there are unikoi. Clever, no?...

Thyroid Hell

I know I haven’t been posting much lately, because I haven’t had a lot of art making going on. It has been a rough year in many ways, that I won’t go into now, but one of the issues I have been dealing with lately, probably affects a lot of others too, so I will talk about my present state of thyroid hell.

I, along with a significant percentage of the population have Hashimotos disease or hypothyroidism. This is a chronic disorder that affects energy level, skin, joints, hair loss, metabolism among a list of things, basically my thyroid is losing its ability to produce enough hormone to keep things in balance. The treatment that has worked the best for me was using a natural thyroid hormone replacement called Armour thyroid, it is the only thing that has made me feel normal in every way.

Well, earlier this year the company changed the formulation without telling anyone and people started to have serious problems, then they stopped producing all together with no notice. The only other company making natural thyroid, Nature-throid, was then flooded with orders and is now on back order.

In the interim, my daughter Nina, who also has Hashimotos, and I have had to go on Synthroid. A synthetic hormone that only replaces the T4 hormone and not the T3 hormone, which together make you feel like a functioning human being. It has been awful to put it mildly. The first two weeks taking it, I had terrible joint pain and nausea and we have both had such low energy, it is hard to get much done. I feel like I did the year before I was diagnosed. Nina has been falling asleep on the couch every day and her eczema has gotten much worse with her eyelids swelling and peeling. It is so incredibly frustrating to not have any real alternatives until production on the natural formulations catch up, supposedly by the end of September.

Bad coffee and Temperament

We lost our internet connection last Friday, so I currently sit in Panera with a weak cup of coffee catching up on emails. A tech is supposed to come out and make it right Tuesday.

I took the Keirsey temperament test this weekend. I take it about once a year when I feel like I need to have someone confirm that it is OK to be me. I go through periods of feeling like I am so, so unlike most of the folks around me (I realize this is common in artists.) Sometimes, I feel alright with that and sometimes I don't. At the moment, I feel I have been trying to squeeze myself into a way of being that goes against my natural grain. I have a very structured, focused mother who is logical and a fairly black and white thinker. My father, who I did not grow up with, is very much an artistic temperament untapped. All of these qualities are good, but I think being like them both by gene, yet being raised by my mom, I often feel I have to work hard for that right brain way of being. Had I been raised with them both, I probably would have a more balanced access to it all....like it is ok to BE an artist.
Even so, though I am an INFJ/P (J and P are always equal scores), I almost always come out fairly equally left and right brained on these tests...which if you think about it, may cause insanity in some folks. Hopefully, not in my case....although it can fee that way.

There is a side of me that kicks against structure, yet wants things to be structured, a part of me that hates schedules, yet feels the need to schedule......that sees things linearly, yet can see things from all angles....yep, so you see my dilemma.

My weak coffee is cold and I should pack up and go home to paint. Or maybe I can analyze this idea a little more.....

Seeing color theory in life

SPLIT COMPLIMENTS
This week at the grocery I saw these bright and fun flowers that I couldn't resist, how can you say no to bright yellow daisies with green centers and limey green and red-violet mums.This is a great example of a split complimentary color scheme; red violet, yellow and green.

Split compliments consist of a main color and the two colors on each side of its complimentary (opposite) color on the color wheel.


PRIMARY COLORS
Last night I looked out the window and saw this gorgeous sunset, predominantly in yellow, red (pink) and blue, these three colors make up the primary color triad on the color wheel. It is with these three colors in different combinations that create all the other colors. You can see examples of that here where the pink and blue have combined in the highest clouds are lovely purples and where the yellow and pink come together close to the horizon you see peachy and golden oranges.

Understanding the basics allows for endless possibilities. If you are interested in learning more, join the next online color theory class.

New Painting

What is this beautiful thing that came out of my mind?? Finally complete.....I can't keep my eyes off of it....

A little better.....

This song has helped me so much in the last week with the depression I have been walking through. So much about what Cee-Lo conveys in the song I can relate to, and, each day, I do feel a little better. I hope it encourages you, as well.

Gnarls Barkley "A Little Better"

"Now I can sing you the storyline
And if you like my story fine
But ain't none of the glory mine
See my life was a lonely one
And I was still momma's only son
With no idea what I'm gon' become
And I didn't have long to know
That you don't have to be grown to go
I could have died so long before
Then I finally saw the sign
And I made it on down the line
One step at a time

I feel better!
I can smile at it now, I feel better
Ohhhh, better!
And even a little is still better
Oh, have mercy on me

Ohhh it's probably plain to see
That I got a whole lot of pain in me
And it will always remain in me
So cold, it's a cryin shame
Yet here I am, tryin again
Cause I refuse to die in vain
The circumstances put soul in me
And there ain't no holdin' me
I've got a heart made of gold in me
Hah, can you believe this is where I've been?
And when adversity comes again
I'll deal with it then

[Chorus]
I feel better!
I can laugh at it now, I feel better,
Ohhhh, better!
And even a little is still better
Oh, have mercy on me

I said everything's fine, you can take your time
What would be on your mind, if you knew you was dyin
I would wanna just feel this one more time
I said everything's fine, take your time
What would be on your mind, if you knew you was dyin'
I would wanna just feel this one more time
I wanna thank you morning sun
I wanna thank you lowly dirt
Now I know I'm not the only one
I, I wanna thank you friendly ghost
When all the calls were close
It seems like you cared the most
I, I wanna thank you Mom and Dad
For hurtin me so bad
But you're the best I ever had
I, I wanna thank you.."

Scam Alert

I had an attempted scam sent my way this past week and want to notify you of what happened since the person has visited my sites and may get to your sites via mine. Apparently, this is am ongoing scam.

I received an email from mailto:jann.gill001@gmail.com. Note the odd english.

"Hi,
Hope this message finds you well. I saw these creatives works on your web site and i will like you to get back with more details if they are still available for purchase.
Diamond, Ringleader of the Spring Revolt and Not One Sparrow

I will appreciate an urgent reply.

Best Regards,
Janet"

Here is the lowdown from Art News Blog. You can see this email added to the list toward the bottom.

New Painting

I haven't settled on a complete title yet, but it will have the phase "seeds of doubt" located somewhere within it. Any ideas are most welcome.

Finally, my first real newsletter goes out tonight.....

Art and Depression 2

One of the greatest blessings of the Internet is the opportunity to connect with like-minded (and opposite-minded) people about our lives. When I opened my email yesterday and had so many responses to my post about depression, I felt so encouraged and more than that I felt connected to other artists who experience the same struggle confirming my strong belief in community. Knowing that across the world there are others in the game too, helps me immensely. Each one of you that commented offered priceless insight and I am so very grateful.

I had a scare with my beloved dog since returning from West Virginia which compounded the darkness for a short time, but he is cleared and well and, slowly, I feel the veil beginning to lift.
I am certain that we cannot empathize with those who have suffered without suffering and we cannot appreciate the mountain without the valley.


Having said all this:
Leslie, I am learning to embrace that gift of sadness, to sit with it and be OK knowing that God still has me. Your words mean so much... and yes, it makes complete sense.

Dean, you have been beautifully transparent with your own struggles since I have known you. I know we are comrades in this. I have often read your blog and said to myself "I know how he feels! I get that!" I have had a lot fo fantastic counseling, working through my family of origin issues, and for a time was on medication and both were a Godsend. I now experience this thing for much shorter periods and much less intensely, so I can tell you, as someone older, that it gets better when we get help.

Deb, thank you for the great insight. Like I said to Dean above, medication helped a lot as well as counseling... I agree and hear you that this is part of being an artist for many.

Peter, I so respect your work and willingness to put your hand up. I need the reminder that dark days do come to an end.

Cat, ahhh! Yes! And it has become more like a job with all three shows coming and carrying this weight to produce enough. I might have wondered over the last several months if this is really what I want. Thank you for that insight....

Sila, I don't even know how to respond to your beautiful comment. Yes, indeed, Christ knows exactly all about it and He allows it for His purpose and you know what? Against all human understanding, it is in these times that my faith is stengthened.

Janie, you and I have had many face to face (and long distance) talks about this. You remind me to give myself permission to fill the tank......to live a create life, and to look at my own "unspoken commandments" of being an artist, many of which are distorted. And to revisit and reassess those expectations.....

Have a fantastic weekend, all. Aiming to be back in the saddle Monday.

Innovations in Textiles 8

I am getting so excited, I will be teaching two workshops and giving a lecture in conjunction with Innovations in Textiles 8 in St. Louis next month (September 17-20) for the Missouri Fiber Artists. This looks like an amazing event with textile exhibits and workshops that span several months:

Innovations in Textiles is a biennial collaborative event in St. Louis, MO that investigates the state of contemporary textile arts. Over 20 nonprofit and private arts organizations join forces to present exhibitions related to fiber art created by national and international artists. Activities include workshops, lectures, gallery tours and community programs. Innovations in Textiles serves to enlighten the community with a unique aesthetic perspective on fiber art featuring various materials and techniques. The broad range of programming mirrors the symposium's dedication to the investigation of innovative ideas.

I have never been to St. Louis before, so this will be a new adventure. I will be teaching Mixed Media Painted Fabric and Tsukineko All Purpose Inks on Saturday and Sunday, Sept. 19th and 20th, these workshops are now open to public enrollment if you would like to join us.

Art and Depression

Some people have tried to discourage me from being so transparent on my art blog, but I place a very high premium on authenticity. I feel we can make a deeper connection with others by being honest about our common struggles. My goal with the blog is not just to show off my art, but to process my life as an artist, as well.

I am experiencing a weird intense apathy coupled with feeling pretty depressed currently. Depression is like an old friend in my life and though her visits are less frequent as I get older, she still shows up and at times with a large suitcase.
I tend to over think things talking myself into a corner and wonder sometimes is I can afford to be a artist. Do I have the fortitude to do it for life and the drive to keep on? Is my work really valid? Sometimes, especially in dark moments, I think not. I hear artists say all the time that they love their craft and would do it all day every day if possible. I can't say the same. Painting can wear me out at times! Claude Monet said, "I am very depressed and deeply disgusted with painting. It is really a continual torture." I get that.

And trying to make a living at it can really be difficult unless you are bent that way, and though I feel I have come a long way on this, I still loathe it at times and wonder if anything will come of it. Honestly, on a rare occasion I wish I could go work a normal 9 to 5, have someone tell me what to do and get a weekly paycheck. See? I am in a weird place.

Sign up now for the next online Color Theory class

The next class begins September 8 and ends November 8th. If you would like more info or to join the class send me an email following the link on the class description page.

Stendhal Syndrome

I heard a while ago about a psychosomatic illness called Stendhal Syndrome which apparently happens to people while they are looking at art. Very bizarre. Shows you how incredibly powerful images are....

Coming soon to a book store near you!

Ricë Freeman-Zachery who wrote Living the Creative Life: Ideas and Inspiration from Working Artists has written a new book that is due to come out very soon called Creative Time and Space. This is what the editorial review says about the book:

"With a fresh approach and an A-list group of contributing artists, Creative Time and Space embraces the idea that making time and space is at the core of creativity. It is not just about managing your time or setting up a studio space, it is about your mindset and about making room in your life for your craft. Enjoy active sidebars alongside photos of the work and workspaces of the featured artists, as they speak with refreshing candor about how they carve out creative time and space in their own lives."

I am thrilled and honored to have been chosen by Ricë to participate in this amazing book with an incredible list of artists who work in a variety of media. Ricë asked wonderful interview questions that really had me digging deep and thinking about how I work, live, make art, the choices I make and priorities I set in order to find the time and space to create. I really look forward to reading about how everyone else answered Ricë's questions. This is sure to be a great read for all of us who love creating. Be sure and click on the book above to see the preview, you might want to pre-order a copy now, it is sure to be another must have for the bookshelf from Ricë.

West Virginia Trip.....

Wow, so the question is how to get back to work after four days in the West VA wilderness?? I am tired and sore today. I think Reuben has not moved since last night.

I do feel refreshed after immersing myself in river water and breathing in sweet mountain air. There is something about the fragrance of damp earth and all sorts of bushes and blooms mingled with some faint wild animal scent that makes me so full and contented. I have always sensed the presence of God in His creation and in quiet a place like we were, it is almost emotionally overwhelming.


You can see the photos here.




Reuben outside the Purple Fiddle in Thomas, WV making sure the hippies obey the sign...

I want to catch up with you all, so off I go to your respective blogs... looking forward to seeing what has been going with each of you......

Home....

....it is hard to return home.....after this.

West Virginia

Craig and I go to the beautiful Canaan Valley in West Virginia each year on our anniversary and we head out today to celebrate our 10Th. We have very generous friends who have a ski home there, which is what most people go there for, so it is fairly empty when we go in August. I woke up with a horrible sore throat yesterday, so hopefully I will be ready for a hike tomorrow.
I am so thrilled to be able to get back deep into the woods.

from our 2007 trip...Otter Creek Wilderness in the Monongahela Forest

I leave you all with this article one of four from Alyson Stanfield's brilliant blog:

The first of four steps to selling you art: Devote yourself completely to a studio practice

Talk to you all next week!

Little Tokyo

When ever we go to Los Angeles one thing we can not miss is a trip downtown to Little Tokyo, on a quest for paper, cool new pens and pencils and books.

Our favorite drink is green tea Boba with soft sweet tapioca balls, many places refer to this drink as bubble tea, but in LA everyone calls it boba. In Chicago we have had a hard time finding boba that tastes as good as they make it in LA, usually our biggest complaint is the tapioca balls are a little hard and flavorless here. Nina has begun making it at home, so we had to make a stop in a grocery to stock up on green tea powder and a few bags of the large tapioca.

When we arrived at Weller Court I was pleasantly surprised to see these beautiful illustrations hanging on the walls of the courtyard.
The store we like visiting the most is Kinokuniya, a large bookstore that has so much more than just wonderful books.The stationary department always has the coolest stuff!
I treated myself to a new mechanical pencil that holds .3 mm lead! It draws with an incredibly fine line. One of the cool features of this pencil besides holding very thin lead is that you can adjust the top of the pencil to indicate what type of lead (2B, HB, H, 2 H) you have in the barrel.

I also bought another eraser holder with spare white erasers. I love using one of these when I am drawing, the narrow diameter of the eraser helps you pinpoint and erase just the areas you want. The last package holds a glue pen.

















I love this turquoise anodized metal pencil case with three separate compartments to hold tools.

Art?

Why is it that often I read an artist statement and come away from it feeling like "what??" Why is that when I look at contemporary art and mostly feel I just have been exposed to an expression that exists solely for the purpose of uncovering self-mania, obsession, and often, perversion? (I am in no way speaking about art that addresses hard issues.)
Anyone but me? Can anyone explain?
Can anyone be an artist? Is art really in the eye of the beholder? What makes a piece of art last over generations?
I realize this is as old a question as "what in art...."